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You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?

Ok, so yeah, the title is borrowed from Peter Griffin on a Family Guy episode, but I felt like it fit for this blog post.  Here’s a very minute topic, but one that I want to call attention to.

When you go to a restaurant, what is the amount that you base your tip off of (whether its 15%, 20% or 25%, etc.)?

You base the tip off of the total price, including sales tax.  

Think about it though.  Why should we have to tip on top of the sales tax?  Isn’t that like double taxation?  How is that fair?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to stick it to the servers across the country.  I was once a server who worked for tips.  But I want to base my tip off of the sub-total, before the tax is calculated.  Is that so wrong?  I think its only fair, don’t you?

If I go to dinner and the sub-total is $50 for food and drinks, and I want to tip 20% for good service, then my tip should be $10.  And, that should be considered a healthy 20% tip. 

However, I don’t think I would get credit for tipping 20% in the above scenario.  The truth of the matter is that the sales tax is added before they bring the final ticket to you, which only serves to pad the server’s tip by roughly 7%.  So, instead of factoring my 20% tip off the $50 sub-total, I feel compelled to factor the tip off of the final price listed on the receipt (which would be $53.50 in the above scenario).  And, 20% of $53.50 is $10.70.  Thus, you see my point.

I think everyone is basically paying a tip on top of the sales tax amount.  Its not a big deal in isolated incidents, but I don’t think its fair.  Over time, this means we’re over-paying roughly 7% on all of our tips whenever we go out to eat.

And, as I’m typing this pointless little blog post, my wife shows me her tip calculator that she downloaded for her iPhone.  Go figure.

 

June 10, 2008 Posted by Charlie Malouf | Food | , , | 2 Comments

“Um, honey, how can I explain this? There was a turtle…”

I have been driving Kelli’s car to work some the past couple of weeks, just to try to save some mileage on my lease on my Pathfinder.  This past Thursday was one of the days that we swapped cars and I drove her Honda Civic to work.  

Well, coming back from a quick lunch break (just a drive to Smooth King) in Kelli’s Honda Civic, Ishee and I noticed some cars swerving to avoid something in the middle of the road.  As we approached, we realized that it was a turtle.  So, we put the car in reverse and picked up the little guy saving it from getting run over and crushed by oncoming traffic.

We were just a couple hundred yards from the office.  All was safe.  We were joking that we were lucky he didn’t get nervous and poop on the floorboard.  As if on cue, the little guy (I believe we named him Tommy T.) got a little nervous right when we were parking and starting peeing on the floorboard.  NOOOO!!!!!!!!!   NOOOOOO!!!!!   Turtle piss in Kelli’s car!!!!  

We got the little guy out and he continued to make a huge puddle on the sidewalk.  

I didn’t know how I could explain to my wife that on my drive to and from work, I happened to get turtle pee in her car.  That would be an interesting conversation.  ”Um, babe, the craziest thing happened today?  We saved a turtle!  Oh, and um, he may have peed a little bit on your floorboard in the process.”

Her priceless response when I finally told her of this right before we went to bed that night:

“Um, wh-wh-what the hell, man?”

Here are the photos to document this fortunate, yet unfortunate, incident:

Later that afternoon we had to let the Tommy Turtle go and release him back into the wild due to his non-productivity in the office.

June 7, 2008 Posted by Charlie Malouf | Life at Ashley | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

love remains the same - gavin rossdale

I heard this new song on the radio Tuesday night after work and went home and downloaded it on iTunes.  I love the hook.  Its from Gavin Rossdale, former frontman for Bush.  What has he been doing since the Sixteen Stone album like from the early 90s and since he married Gwen Stefani?  This song is not his typical rocker sound.  Instead its more of a sappy love ballad, but I still really like it.  

Here are the lyrics:

a thousand times i’ve seen you standing 
gravity like a lunar landing 
make me want to run till i find you 
shut the world away from here, drift to you, you’re all i hear 
everything we know fades to black 

half the time the world is ending, truth is i am done pretending 

i never thought that i had any more to give 
pushing me so far here i am without you 
drink to all that we have lost, mistakes that we have made 
everything will change, love remains the same 

find a place where we escape 
take you with me for a space 
a city bus that sounds just like a fridge 
walk the streets through seven bars 
i had to find just out where you are 
the faces seem to blur they’re all the same 

half the time the world is ending, truth is i am done pretending 

i never thought that i had any more to give 
you’re pushing me so far here i am without you 
drink to all that we have lost, mistakes that we have made 
everything will change, love remains the same 

so much more to say, so much to be done 
don’t you trick me out, we shall overcome 
cause our love stays ablaze 

we should have had the sun 
could have been inside 
instead we’re over here 

half the time the world is ending, truth is i am done pretending 
too much time to love defending, you and i are done pretending 

i never thought that i had any more to give 
you’re pushing me so far here i am without you 
drink to all that we have lost, mistakes that we have made 
everything will change, everything will change 

i, oh, i, i wish 

this could last forever 

i, oh, i, as if 

we could last forever 

love remains the same 
love remains the same

June 5, 2008 Posted by Charlie Malouf | Music, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Hidden Vibrating Cell Phone

The following sequence of events are based on a true story.  The following photographs provide verification of these events.  I couldn’t make this stuff up.

Tuesday evening, June 3rd, 2008 around 6:00pm EST.  I’m preparing to leave the office for the day.  I’ve just met with Ishee on various business related topics.  He assumed his usual seat in my brown leather arm chair in my office.  He is preparing to leave as well to make a dinner date that he and his wife have with another couple.  However, as he’s leaving, he realizes that he has misplaced his cell phone.

I suggest that he call his number, but he says its on vibrate.  Regardless, its our only shot of finding his cell phone.  So, he calls his number and I begin to hear a buzzing noise in my office.  Aha!  His cell phone fell out of his pocket in between the seat cushion of the arm chair.  Simple.  Open and shut case.  Right?  Let’s all go home and leave for the day.  Right?  Um…  Wrong.

The cell phone could be heard.  In fact, it could be heard 13 times from calling Ishee’s number.  Unfortunately for my arm chair, the cell phone could be heard but not seen.

These photos show the following course of events that transpired over the next 45 minutes.

Photo #1 - Just lift up the cushion and retrieve the cell phone.  Piece of cake.

Photo #2 - Something seems amiss.  He cannot reach the cell phone.  

Photo #3 - Maybe if he turns it upside down, that will help it fall out.

In retrospect, the flipping upside down of the arm chair proved to be a catastrophe.  It further lodged the cell phone within the nether regions of the arm chair.

Photo #4 - This photo is not blurry because of a shaky hand or a poor camera, I assure you.  Rather, its due to the fact that he is visibly and forcibly shaking the the arm chair.  It got aggressive.  

Photo #5 - Here lies the aftermath.  It got ugly.  Scissors got involved.  A miniature Louisville Slugger baseball bat was utilized.  Three people were involved in the search and rescue mission.  Many calls were made to the missing, hidden cell phone.  It somehow got itself perfectly lodged in between the wood of the arm so that it couldn’t be accessed.  Finally, after 45 minutes, Wes was able to retrieve the cell phone.

Needless to say, Ishee was late for his dinner party.  My arm chair got demolished.  Bruised, battered and beaten.  I got called a jackass (deservedly so) for insisting on taking photographs of Ishee while he was in distress.

But, as they say, a photo is worth a thousand words, right?  I think these photos perfectly tell the story.  

How do we get anything done during the day???

June 5, 2008 Posted by Charlie Malouf | Life at Ashley | , , , , , , | 4 Comments

This should be a tweet

Yeah, this should be something that I post on Twitter, but oh well.  Its going to be a quick blog post.  Today, we went to lunch at Sante’ in downtown Matthews, a staple in our lunch rotation.  I’m a regular there and typically order the grilled chicken wrap without black beans and a side salad (half there and half to go).  It comes with basmati rice, which apparently is scarce now due to India’s elections (or so they said at Kabob Grill this past Friday), carrots, spinach and grilled chicken.  Its delicious.  But Rizzo our waiter told us about the specials and something compelled me to break rank from the regular order.  So, instead I got the special, which was Shrimp and vegetable cous cous.  The presentation was perfect (in fact, I wish I had taken a photo of it to provide a better visual).  And it was excellent.  Very tasty.  I must say that I highly recommend Sante’ of Matthews for lunch or dinner.  If its nice outside, take a date there for dinner and sit out back in the courtyard and order a nice bottle of wine to accompany your exquisite meal.  Go taste for yourself and let me know what you think if you go there.

June 4, 2008 Posted by Charlie Malouf | Food | | No Comments

Free Mountain Medley Sample from Kashi

  I’m a sucker for these sort of things.  Who can deny a free sample, right?  I love Kashi cereals, so why not give this free sample a try.  The only thing is that the feature to track my order doesn’t work.  They cannot find my email address, even though they show that I’ve already ordered.  They need to fix that glitch.

I haven’t yet received my free sample.  If you order one, let me know what you think. 

 

June 1, 2008 Posted by Charlie Malouf | Food | , , , , | No Comments

“I’m the CEO of my expectations.”

So Kelli and I were driving around yesterday and I made a comment about managing her expectations on some silly topic that we were discussing.  She doesn’t like it when I try to “manage her expectations.”  Her response cracked me up.  It was perfect:

“You can’t manage my expectations!  I will manage my own expectations.  I’m the CEO of my expectations.”

I love my wife  :)

- Chaz

June 1, 2008 Posted by Charlie Malouf | Driving | , , , | 1 Comment